It’s February!
You know what that means… Stores are stocked with valentines, special treats, and cards. Class parties are being planned and prepared for. Restaurants are taking reservations. All around us, there’s energy and focus on that one day that we get to celebrate our love and gratitude for those in our lives… Valentine’s Day.
Just kidding!
Yet, as we settle into the thought of this holiday, we do have an opportunity to reflect and remind ourselves of how lucky we are to not just have one day; and instead celebrate that we get to show up every day as we are, giving and receiving love in our own sensory-emotional ways.
There’s so much to say about the power of our relationships and the micro connections we experience on a daily basis. In each interaction we have with our families, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and, yes, even strangers, in some capacity, we’re all playing a role in another’s life.
It’s not always easy, and it’s not supposed to be. We are, in fact, human, and the concept of “perfect” can be left as a saying on one of those little candy hearts.
‘Awareness’ and ‘presence,’ on the other hand, are concepts that we can carry in our own hearts and become more curious about as we continue to connect with ourselves and those around us.
But how do we connect?
How do we increase awareness?
How do we see the power of presence in our relationships?
Just as Cupid’s arrow has to be pulled back and physically released in order to launch forward and make contact with its target.
It starts with us:
- Pulling our attention inwards to learn more about ourselves (sensory-emotional profile, attachment styles, love language, triggers, communication style, likes/dislikes, etc.)
- Letting go of societal expectations, stigmas, and old ways of thinking
- Trusting the process to move forward and welcome new ways of being
- And truly connecting with others in ways that are meaningful to them and supportive of the connections we desire
So here is your Valentine’s Day invitation to get curious!
→ What is your current love language? How do you like to receive and express love?
- Words of affirmation (expressions that help you feel seen, understood, and appreciated, efforts recognized)
- Acts of service (supportive actions, kind gestures, shown appreciation)
- Quality time (undivided attention, active listening, full presence, meaningful conversations and interactions)
- Physical touch (signs of affection, contact with another)
- Gifts (visuals, symbols of love, physical and meaningful, less about the monetary value and more about the thoughtfulness behind the item)
→ What is your child’s current love language? How do they like to receive and express love?
- Words of affirmation (expressions that help them feel seen, understood, and appreciated)
- Acts of service (actions, kind gestures, shown appreciation)
- Quality time (PLAY, undivided attention, active listening, full presence, meaningful conversations and interactions)
- Physical touch (signs of affection, contact with another)
- Gifts (visuals, symbols of love, physical and meaningful, less about the monetary value and more about the thought behind the item)
→ What are the current love languages of others in your life?
→ Could everyone’s sensory-emotional personality styles impact how we receive and express love?
You betcha!
And learning more about our sensory-emotional profiles can be exactly how.
We can connect with ourselves and others
We can increase our self and social awareness
We can see the power of our presence and the impact it has on our relationships
Check out some examples below!
Anxious yet Deeply Feeling
Can often feel: Uncomfortable, overwhelmed, stressed, hesitant
Words of Affirmation → Use encouraging words and phrases often, offer reassurance, acknowledge their determination and effort to be persistent, provide calm and safety playfulness through your affect
Acts of Service → Make a list of their favorite things to do and do them together, organize with them so they feel in control, and have them be the teacher or helper guiding you and showing you how they feel most comfortable and successful doing them
Quality Time → Listen to music, PLAY in the themes that focus on security, protection, control, and power, and have them be in charge of sensations
Physical Touch → Be their safe spot or designate a safe space, provide deep pressure- hugs and holds, sit near or next to, create a “spa night” with a menu of choices
Gifts → offer deep pressure/heavy work (proprioceptive) experiences, offer objects and experiences that bring calm and regulation for their own sensory profile – choose and get them together to maintain a sense of control
Unaware Yet Deep Thinker
Can often feel: unaware, inattentive, tuned out, disconnected
Words of Affirmation → Recognize their efforts in deep thinking and getting the input they need, use more excited and exaggerated facial expressions, bigger gestures to build excitement, varied tone and volume to hold attention
Acts of Service → Notice them, “I notice you like that.” and encourage exploration, “what else could we do that is like that?,” engage in activities that encourage whole body movement
Quality Time → Dance Party, PLAY in the themes that focus on interest, engagement, connection, and exploration, and be there and listen to their stories and deep thoughts
Physical Touch → bursts of touch- heavy work, movement, rough-housing, give a pat on the back, high five, and fist bumps
Gifts → spark their use of thinking to increase awareness and attention – this can take the form of a journal or sketch pad, provide gifts that enhance sensory input that wake their body up
Confused yet Full of Wonder
Can often feel: Surprised, confused, embarrassed by performance at times, limited emotional range
Words of Affirmation → speak highly of your child so they can overhear, emphasize their strengths in wondering and experimenting, narrate their actions, anticipate what their experiences might be, revel in their sense of wonder and experimentation
Acts of Service → Cook a special meal or treat, help a neighbor take out and sort their recycling
Quality Time → Take walks together and have conversations about what you see and about all the things you could do with those things, PLAY in the themes that focus on wonderment and experimentation
Physical Touch → Science experiments, make up fun hand games or hand shakes together
Gifts → Experiences with variety, creative, open-ended experimental or tinkering-type toys/activities
Needy yet Compassionate
Can often feel: Weak, helpless, needy, “lazy”
Words of Affirmation → Notice and acknowledge how hard they are working and how much effort they put into things, pair affect and sounds to their movements, use anticipation, act dynamic and animated
Acts of Service → Invite them to be your helper for the day, also ask how you can help them today, build up bravery as they demonstrate strength and power while being a helper
Quality Time → Take rest breaks together, PLAY in themes that focus on being powerful, brave, helpful, and strong
Physical Touch → Provide supportive positioning for their body by having them sit on your lap or right next to you, snuggle on the couch
Gifts → Activities that invite lifting, pulling, pushing, carrying
Scattered yet Intentional and Passionate
Can often feel: Scattered, flustered, explosive, unmotivated, lack confidence, “bossy”
Words of Affirmation → Validate their experience, “that was tricky, surprising, unexpected,” recognize their efforts when you see them try something by stating, “great idea!,” treat what they are doing as intentional and build on their interests and ideas
Acts of Service → create plans together using checklists or drawings, complete chores together, and support them to be the boss/director of the day
Quality Time → Find silly things to laugh about together,PLAY in themes that focus on confidence, persistence, construction, organization
Physical Touch → Dance together, taking turns making up different moves
Gifts → give them something that they are passionate about- consider their favorite topic or favorite request, activities/games that invite movement of the body in different ways
No need to RSVP to this Valentine’s Day invitation. Instead, please join us by tuning into our podcast, A Sensory Emotional Lens, so that when “life is like a box of chocolates, and you never know what you’re going to get,” you’ll be stocked up on all the goodies and prepared with the power of PLAY because there’s so much value in being together; learning, playing, loving and repairing through a range of sensational and emotional experiences.
Thank you for allowing us to be one of your relationships!
To learn more about Sensory Emotional Personalities™ and which one best matches your child, see Our Model.
Please visit our podcast, A Sensory Emotional Lens! In short episodes, you’ll discover the emotional expression of sensory and movement experiences and how this causes children to act and interact. You’ll also explore the connection between sensory, movement, and emotion and the importance of play throughout the day with these connections in mind.
Did you like these tips? Check out our website for more informative blog posts and our Instagram and Facebook pages!
Founder and Creator of the Sensory Emotional Engagement Model
Michele Parkins, MS, OTR, is an Occupational Therapist specializing in working with children and families with Sensory Processing and Integration Disorders and challenges in social-emotional development. She is also a parent of two sensory kids. She works and lives sensational kids! Michele is a fellow of Dr. Lucy Jane Miller, OTR, and Sensory Treatment and Research Institute faculty.
Michele is passionate about working with families and other therapists and continues to do so as a clinician and educator. She educates therapists from all over the country and world and continues to provide consultation to schools on treatment for sensory processing disorder. Michele has co-authored a chapter in the 3rd edition of Sensory Integration: Theory and Practice, the textbook for sensory evaluation and treatment, alongside world-renowned pioneers in the field, and is currently writing a book to help support parents and families to understand better the impact of SPD on family dynamics and relationships and the day to day demands of life with sensory processing differences. Follow her on Facebook for updates and tips!
- Giving and Receiving Love in our own Sensory Emotional Ways - February 14, 2024
- 10 play-based motor planning activities - December 10, 2019
- 10 play-based vestibular activities - November 22, 2019
For over 20 years, Laura has provided support and services to individuals with social-emotional and developmental needs in school and private settings. With Great Kids Place’s Sensory-Emotional Engagement Model ™ as her foundation, she demonstrates advanced knowledge in the areas of pediatric mental health, child development, neurodivergent populations (ADHD, Autism, gifted, highly sensitive, etc.), sensory processing differences, visual-spatial capacities, parent coaching, family support, attachment theories, developmental and behavioral assessments, social skills, DIR® Floortime™, and Crisis Prevention and Safety Care Interventions.
